i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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