so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
