Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
