Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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