Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know heβll give me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
