FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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