Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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