I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
