Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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