whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
