I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
