they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
