You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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