Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
