My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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