What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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