You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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