her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
