I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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