No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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