then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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