I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
