So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
