My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
