Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
