bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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