I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
