Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
