that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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