I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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