We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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