Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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