I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
