What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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