big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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