Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
