rhymes with "ouble enetration"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You have to summon your inner elephant
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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