I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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