I have demons in me.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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