These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
