Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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