dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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