I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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