He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
