she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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