she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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