You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
