They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You work out of a Hotel?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
