please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
