he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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