singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
