So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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