you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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