Cold hands, warm shart.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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