if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
