no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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