Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
