so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize