We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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