remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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