She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
