Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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