your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize