suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
