i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize